Signs It’s Not Love

 

 

Loving a narcissist is like a beautiful dream that suddenly morphs into a nightmare. One moment, everything is picture-perfect and he’s all over you like butter on toast. The next, he’s chipping away at your self-esteem like it’s a block of ice that needs to be turned into snow cones.

Most of the time, it never happens instantly — it’s a process that often starts off as a whirlwind romance that slowly morphs into an abusive, gaslit nightmare.

The romantic part is what hooks you in, and it’s actually a process called love bombing. Worried about being taken for a ride by a charismatic narcissist in need of a new victim? Watch out for these signs of love bombing.

1. Everything seems very quick

They’ll be ramping up affection fast, often to the point where the phrase “whirlwind romance” will come to mind when you think about them.

2. He acts like a hero to you when you’re in a bad position.

Are heros real. Rather, it’s more likely that someone who is helping you is more likely to be doing it out of a selfish need.

3. At times, it seems like he’s trying to get you to acknowledge that he is better than anyone else you’ve dated.

They’re doing it to get you hooked on you and to make you think that you can’t get better than them

4. He asks a lot of probing questions about the uglier side of your life.

This is a common way that narcissists find material to bring up later on when they start abusing you. It’s also a way to make you feel more bonded to them in a faster amount of time. After all, we tend to feel way closer to people we share secrets with, particularly if they’re dark secrets.

5. Others warn you about him, but what they’re saying really doesn’t match up.

Though there are some very rare occasions where it’s actually a psycho ex or a very misunderstood individual, most of the time, this isn’t the case. More often than not, the reason things don’t match up is that the person you’re seeing is love bombing you and their real face hasn’t shown yet.

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