Is it time to break up — or are you just afraid?
Sometimes, giving in to something that is healthier for you — even if it includes being single — feels like giving up … but it’s far from it.Whereas giving in is asking yourself the tough questions that may lead to a healthier relationship or to a breakup and something better for you in the long run. This personal growth may be difficult and painful sometimes, but it’s vital. Especially if you want to fit all your emotional baggage in a carry-on instead of filling up the whole 747 that takes you to your future.
1. Is this relationship, the way it is right now, really what you want?
You wouldn’t go to a restaurant and order “lunch,” and wait to see what shows up.
You would be very specific to get what you want. While it may not be perfect, it’s much closer and you can decide if it’s good enough to eat or if you want to order something (someone) different.
If you communicated exactly what you want, would that clear the air and allow for some great improvements? Maybe you’ve just gotten bored or distracted.
2. Are both yours and his needs getting met?
You two automatically have these four psychological needs: connection, certainty, significance, and variety.
3. Are you speaking the wrong love languages?
If you haven’t discussed love languages with your partner, you’re missing a huge, important piece of your relationship communication! HUGE. It’s the difference in feeling loved or unloved, and that’s a big deal!
Acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time or receiving gifts.
4. Are your personality styles compatible?
One of the simplest and most fun things to learn is personality styles. It explains everyone in your life and gives you a tremendous boost when it comes to communicating and relationships.
5. Are you letting pain from the past destroy your future?
You both have baggage. It comes with the territory and it destroys what could be perfect relationships every day.
So, how are you going to avoid that? Without releasing those emotional snowballs from deep within the subconscious mind, there are a few things you can do.
First, own your stuff, your junk, your garbage, baggage, trash.
Second, as you see it get triggered within your relationship, acknowledge that all the emotion welling up inside is mostly from the past, not the current situation. It’s your awesome subconscious mind giving you warnings to keep you safe from the same pain, anger, hurt, or sadness you felt before. Thank it. Breathe through it.